Ruchi and Samarth are away to Mumbai. Guess I am feeling a little lonely, obviously missing them. Usually weekends are time for togetherness and even if you do not do too much, the act of the entire family being around is so soothing and a great stress buster.
Free time permits one the luxury to reflect upon things that you really care for but may not have been able to give enough attention for a variety of reasons. Your hobbies – or the apparent lack of them, old friendships, relationships you really want to preserve and enrich. The thought of parent – child relationship crossed my mind, have been thinking about it for a while and seems like a good moment to shape it further.
Children grow up very fast. Each stage of their growing up is a supreme treat to enjoy. Initially they need you and depend upon you for practically every single one of their requirements. You walk them around, play, read and write with them, watch children movies, tell stories. But pretty soon they begin to have a mind of their own and quickly outgrow the need for your company, supervision and guidance. The dependence goes down, even if you do not want it to happen, and a very unique individual begins to blossom.
The conversation at family gatherings invariably centres around how the children of today – in the 11+ age group -behave and conduct themselves. Independent, arrogant, do not listen to anyone, sleep late get up later, less respectful, intelligent, smart, little focus on studies, time wasters etc etc. External influences, social groups (friends as well as usual Facebook type networks) and their own peers seem to have a far deeper impact than any other parental or family counseling.
The generation gap begins to open up, so much so that it becomes pretty tough to strike a conversation beyond a single digit number of minutes. Given the environment and the rapid change that is being forced upon all of us – children and parents alike – the question is of the nature of interactions to be had. What should you make the child learn, what should the messaging be, what should you provide to the child. Net net what is the most ideal gift for the child? I understand this is an endless topic and there can be as many answers as there are people, let me attempt to pen down a few of my thoughts.
The most significant one is the gift of time. Spending as much time as possible, finding areas of common interest that help creation of a special bond. Children are carefree and fun loving and therefore indulging in such acts with a sense of humour is a huge deal. The early years of the child are also some of the most crucial for your career. The temptation therefore is strong to manage career leaving all else for later. But you will soon realise – and there are many examples around each one of us – later does not exist at all in this matter. Not creating a bond at every stage leads to a void that, regretfully, can never be filled.
The other one is of inculcating a value system. It is almost impossible to control likes and dislikes or their mind. Or even who they interact with. Hence a relentless focus on imparting values will keep them grounded and provide them the strength of character so required to fight the bigger battles of life later on. Being respectful, humble, sensitive and caring, truthful, honest, having determination – whatever can make them a good human. The significance of a strong value orientation can hardly be under-estimated, they guide all our actions.
The only other one I wish to mention is the relationship between the parents. Parents are the two most important persons for the child. Visible demonstrable signs of love and respect amongst the parents helps to provide an environment of peace, stability, security and an immense sense of comfort for the child.
Can you discover similarities with the environment at your workplace? Often there are strong parallels and always interesting to give it a thought.
Will be great to get your opinions and views!